Season of Change

[cuda]

 Hard to believe it's been almost 5 years since I've been back here.

Well, I mean, after reviewing my 'interests' list... yeah. Not so hard.

Wtf, 2014!me? You were into that?

The thing is, coming back to DW is just one of a great big bag of personal upheaval this season. Usually, I don't notice change until I look back from a distance. A year, five years later, I see the progress of things clearly delineated. Right now, I'm noticing it as it's happening. And it's happening right the hell now, leaving me wondering what I'm going to look like inside by the end of December, even.

Coming back to DW also feels like returning to a personal touchstone. Like listening to an album that marked a hyperspecific time of my life. This was my life raft, post-LiveJournal, and it feels like that again. The controls are familiar-strange; a little tougher to navigate on mobile than I'm used to, and I don't mind.

Posting this, I'm breathing a sigh of relief. Because I can post this. Because this place, unlike the wilds of social media elsewhere, makes me feel safe to have a voice. My voice. A voice that isn't consciously cultivated for mass appeal.

Yeah, this is harder. This change is so visible and it's going to be habit changing in multiple facets of my life. But I guess, while it hurts to limp back in here, angry at the world and staring down the headlights of the upheavals coming at me, it's also not as bad as it could be.

So to the changes coming, I say: let's see how this goes.

If you're following me and you're new to Dreamwidth, welcome! If you're an old friend and this post is crossing your reading page after years of silence, hi again - how are things?

Comments

[ilyena_sylph]

Things are good!

Still at the same job, same senmut making my life amazing and wonderful by being in it!

Their son, L, is living with us for his last year of HS, that's a fairly new thing, but it's amazing. I love my stepson SO MUCH, yo!

We still have killing_rose as our Housemate, and the best of all kittens is now quite a cat, our Mischa.

I am a terrible lurker even on DW, let alone tumblr, but. here I am!

[cuda]

You are wonderful, and I was so grateful to see your reply. I sort of steeled myself for no answers, after such a long absence. These days I've been more and more a lurker and a liker on tumblr anyway, and less and less a participant.

I'm so glad things are good for you! That sounds like a great place to be, and it makes me happy to hear about your family. Is the best of all kittens now the best of all cats, or is there a different metric once Mischa reached maturity?

My partner and I are still discovering new joys and challenges with this whole Home Ownership Together thing, and it's wonderful and terrifying and way more expensive than I think either of us could have imagined. But we're doing it, even if it's on a wing and a prayer sometimes. We've lost a little cat in May, which I think you know about, and gained a dwarf hamster, and otherwise just trying to stay warm and get enough sunlight to not go bugnuts until spring.

[ilyena_sylph]

+grins+ No problem at all! I'm overjoyed to see so many people coming back, and the best way to encourage that is to be a vaguely hyper kitten all over people's posts.

It is pretty great. +laughs+ he is totally the best of all cats when he's not annoying the snot out of me.

Home Ownership Together is in fact hyper terrifying, or homeowner's-agent-with-discretionary powers is, anyway. So damn expensive.

Yeeah, winter's looking like it's gonna be A Thing, innit?

[cuda]

I've missed this place. I've missed blogging, writing multi-paragraph replies, and feeling like I can be unedited. I'm working on changing my habits so I'll be able to stay active this time and use this space more. It feels quieter in my head, being here. I'm glad others are coming back too! It makes me so proud of Dreamwidth, to know it's been chugging along over here.

My main struggle with Home Ownership is not having enough energy, enough know-how, and enough tools to fix things myself. While tinkering with plumbing or electrical systems is interesting to me in theory, the statistical likelihood of flooding my basement or electrocuting myself is higher than I'm willing to gamble on. Which means hiring experts. Which, yeah. $$$$. I'm starting to think learning a trade just to be able to fix my own shit wouldn't be a bad idea?

This winter... I don't even know. When it's not cloudy, it's cold. And when it's not cold, it's cloudy. I ate lunch in my car today in the parking lot just because I desperately needed some real sun on my skin or I was going to turn into a puddle of gelatinous sad. Most of our snow from the awful Thanksgiving weekend blizzard is gone, at least, so getting around is easier. Has it been bad where you are?

[ilyena_sylph]

+grins+ sure has been.

I am so totally in agreement with your second paragraph I just sort of want to draw hearts around it. Because ayup. It'd be great to be able to do things but I am just... not inclined to that kind of work at all. Which $$$$.

+nodnod+ Cloudy and cold and So Much Snow.

That awful Thanksgiving blizzard hit us, too, though not as bad... and we've had snow flurrying most of the time since. So Cold. Lows in the teens for like weeks. Though i think the occassional spikes to 50 are worse because then everything melts and freezes and there were those few hours when it wasn't awful.